i would punch a child for taco bell
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
