Jerry, you need to find god
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
