Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
