...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
