My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
