i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
