There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
