Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
