I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Text me some of your sweat
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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