I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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