i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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