Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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