I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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