I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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