the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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