lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
