mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
