This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
