I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
