how can u be prego again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I came so hard my ears popped.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
