Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
