Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
