Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
