thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
