She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
