i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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