i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
