I wish I could teleport
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So vagazzling was a success
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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