i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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