I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
