Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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