Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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