I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
