Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
