all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
