plz talk dirty to me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
