But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
