I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
