my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This gyro tastes like lonliness
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
