i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Randomize
