She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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