Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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