you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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