I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
