we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
