if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
