i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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