Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
