sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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