I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
